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January 02, 2012

How I Love Gabrielle Evans...Let me Count the Ways



Aaaaannd I just ran out of fingers and toes. Damn, I can’t count any higher than that without more coffee. So, let’s just say I love her lots. People might think me crazy (the smart ones do) but I do believe in soul-mates, but not just in the usual sense. Yes, there is romantically, I write about that often. I also feel in my heart there are people out there who your soul recognizes for whatever reason. Gabrielle is one of mine. Call her my kindred spirit if soul-mate is too weird for y’all. I just can’t think of another way to put it without sounding like I’m 12 and she’s my bestest, best friend, and we were instant pals.

Because it’s so much more than that. She’s my person. 95% of the time, good or bad news, she is the person I turn to. And there are reasons for that, which makes me love her.

She keeps her mouth shut. I know I can say anything and it goes into that vault. I never have to worry she’ll tell my secrets or call the men in white coats to put me in the padded room. (Granted, it might make her a little nutty to not have made that call yet, but I appreciate the loyalty.)

Ever have that friend when you call to talk and the conversation always turns into all about them? Gabrielle is so not like that. Hell, we switch days. If one of us is having a shit time, we call the other and go, “okay, my day to bitch. You have to be the sane one.”

She yells at me if I use my filter. “Real friends don’t filter with each other.” Because while I have no problem cussing, when I’m really pissed, every other word can end up being fuck and well, I feel bad sometimes that her ear will get tired of my potty mouth one day and leave her. But she always threatens to beat me if I hold back. That’s a true friend, her ears be damned.

Gabrielle is always on my side. It doesn’t matter if I’m 100% wrong and fucked something up, she’s amazing enough to know that hind sight is 20/20 and I don’t have a crystal ball to pull out of my assets before I make decisions. She lets me get it all out, remains calm, and when I’m done, simply goes, “Okay, how do we fix this?” Which as a single woman, kinda on her own island since I work from home, and am self-employed, I don’t get a lot of. I can’t turn to my imaginary hubby and whine until he fixes something. And Marius can’t be trained to handle certain things (no matter how hard I’ve tried).

She never, ever judges. I called her after my first time working out at Ft. Carson Army base and told her there were so many yummy men to look at I just wanted to offer myself up with a bow and let them use me as they see fit. Most people would have had some choice names for that, but not Gabrielle! She just asked me if I needed ribbon and had condoms.

Being an author comes with demons and shit we never could have known about or understood until we were one. My ma & friends don’t get what I go through. Sure, they can know I’m upset but until you’re in it, it’s just not possible. It’s not just a job to us. It’s part of us. My characters are almost like pets to me. I love them. And each and every one of them is partially like me, some trait, characteristic, or flaw I have. So, when people rip into a character I’ve written, and they’re picking on that part, yeah, it’s really fucking personal. And that’s hard to explain, again, unless you’re an author. Without her talking me off the bridge sometimes I swear I would have just chewed people out, looking like a total psycho sometimes until I didn’t have any fans left or just quit. The elves never would have gotten finished without her, that’s for damn sure.

Gabrielle gets me. Mostly my sense of humor. No matter what I post, no matter how many people I warn I’m twisted and blunt… I always end up offending someone. And I was raised that it’s bad to offend people. So sometimes, if I’m not sure I’m going too far, I send it to her. She has yet to say that I’m off my fucking rocker. Well, she has, but she means it as a compliment and reminds me I can’t worry about that one person who’s sensitive or will mistake my meaning when the majority will take what I say as intended. A playful rant normally. But given the genre we write in… Isn’t the whole point to push farther than most? She gets that and nourishes that quality in me where most would like to squash it.

She gives the best presents. And I’m not talking just like Christmas, or my birthday. Sometimes you just need a pick me up and after some particularly fucked up or difficult weeks, I end up getting something in the mail or delivered. I think my favorite was the 4ft Amazonian rose because she said I was hard core Amazon Super Woman and I could get over whatever I was going through. Granted, I’ve sent her some fun stuff too, but we thrive on gag gifts here and there. You really have to know someone well and pay attention to who they are to give great gag gifts.

She’s offered me her husband. There have been a few times when I’ve been all grumbly about how long it’s been since I’ve had time to go out and date, and that also means no sex. But also when there are certain things that ya just want a man around the house to do. (I don’t fucking change furnace filters and don’t ask me how the damn sprinkler system works. I don’t care. I don’t want to know, and I ain’t taking the time to learn about it). One particular time I was whining about wanting some stress relief and a workout that required no clothes and she just goes, “yeah, hubby’s been horny too. Want me to fly him out to you?”

Yes-she was TOTALLY FUCKING JOKING, but there’s nothing like a crazy ass comment when you’re in a rant that makes you pause, have a WTF moment, and then burst out laughing until you think you might pee yourself.

Gabrielle’s never fake. I never have to wonder if she’s being honest with me or being that friend who tells you that you look great because she doesn’t have the heart to say you look like shit. She won’t ever blow smoke up my ass or say, “that book was awesome.” When she’s thinking, fuck that sucked. She means what she says and knows that I value honestly… but she’s never brutal or rude. Even bad news or criticism can be said nicely.

She’s adaptable and easy going. I’m not good with people. It’s why I don’t work in corporate America anymore and most people annoy me (not that it’s always there fault but when god handed out patience I didn’t get shit). So New Orleans was hard for me, especially being somewhere as Joyee for the first time. And I’m not big into touching strangers. There were several times random strangers squealed, hugged me, and were rambling on. (I appreciate enthusiasm, and I’m not picking on anyone, it’s my issue). But I started to like hyperventilate. She’d see that, introduce herself, take the pressure off me while handing me a drink. (I relax significantly after a few).

She gives as good as she gets. We’re authors. It’s not fucking data entry or something you can just do no matter what mood you’re in. There are times when our characters or stories don’t go as planned. If she calls I drop what I’m doing to help. But the truly startling thing for me is she’s the type of friend who does the same. Too many people in life take and take but don’t return the favor. I know I can call her and go, “I’m fucking stuck.” And she will tell me to send her what I have, immediately reads and calls me when she’s done so we can plot. Given what we do, there isn’t always time to put things on hold for a while or keep things percolating in our heads. That would drive me even more insane so yeah, being able to talk it out with someone who’s on the same page as you and respects how you do things, is something that I’m grateful for that’s hard to even put into words.

Gabrielle appreciates my brand of friendship. My friends are my family I choose and I don’t put up with people fucking with them… I’m just a little over the top with it sometimes. There was some douche the first night we went out in New Orleans. Granted, he was young and drunk, but he said some shit to her that was totally uncalled for. Well, I was sober and I grabbed the kid none-too-gently and threatened to force feed him his sac if he even breathed in her direction again. Most people, that would scare them. She hugged me and bought me a drink.

All and all I feel she’s one of those rare gems of a person that truly has a big heart, a good head on her shoulders, and really cares about the people in her life. I’m honored to call her my friend… And it doesn’t hurt that I think she’s a kick ass author who I drop everything for when she sends me a new book!!

Love you, Gabs

-Joyee

(and the feeling is 100% mutual. Love you tons, lady! -- Gabrielle)

Who Needs Christmas?


 
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38 comments:

  1. Everyone needs a friendship like Gabrielle Evans and Joyee Flynn have. No one would get by in the world if they didnt have one. Its great that you guys are such good friends.
    -Bri, biteme.fangs@yahoo.com

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  2. Gabrielle, you and Joyee are so lucky to have each other! I have a friendship like the two of you have, and he moved about 800 miles away, and I really, really, miss him! When my partner died, he was one of the very few who didn't keep saying that I had to 'move-on', and I would 'get over it' - he knew I would grieve and then move forward, but he was so attuned to me, and he knew what I needed to hear, and I love him to this day for saying it, and being that wonderful friend.

    Happy New Year to Gabrielle and Joyee!!

    Hugs,
    Jim

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  3. and my e-mail is: jpipi861@yahoo.com

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  4. Anonymous1/02/2012

    I have a friendship exactly like the two of you have, and i have to say if it wasnt for her i wouldnt have gotten through 2011, she has been with me through thick and thin. She is not afraid to tell me like it is,even when i dont want to here it, and I do the same for her. She is my best friend and is like a sister to me, i probably couldnt fuction properly without her in my life. You and Joyee are extremely lucky to have eachother. Happy New Year to you both.
    -Briannah,vampireawakening@gmail.com

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  5. I knew I loved both of you for a reason! Joyee, you and I have the same potty mouth, it seems! My husband has told me for years that I would make a trooper, a trucker AND a sailor blush with my verbage.

    I envy you both. The last friend I had like that moved away just before I too, moved out of state and we have lost touch. We used to sit and complain over bowls of "puppy chow" and coffee.

    Love both of yours works! Best to you.

    Stacy Wilson

    dragn_lady at yahoo dot com

    RECIPE FOR PUPPY CHOW:

    * 1/2 cup butter or 1/2 cup margarine
    * 2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips
    * 1/3 cup peanut butter
    * 9 cups Corn Chex or 9 cups Rice Chex
    * 4 cups powdered sugar

    Directions:

    1. In a large sauce pan, melt together butter, peanut butter, and chocolate chips.

    2. Stir until all is evenly distributed and all is completely melted.

    3. Measure out chex into a large bowl.

    4. Pour chocolate mixture over chex and fold until all the chex are completely covered in the chocolate mixture.

    5. Put powdered sugar into large paper bag.

    6. Put chex into the bag with the sugar and shake until all chex are covered.

    7. Add more sugar as needed.

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  6. Anonymous1/02/2012

    Reading an entry like this brings tears to my eyes along with quite a few snorts of laughter lol. You both are amazing and I wish everyone could have friendships like you. :)

    Jess Martin

    jessi_wuzzle@hotmail.com

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  7. I like the word soul mate and I have one of those as well. She and I have been friends since we were 6 years old (and we are now both in our 40's). You are right in saying that she is the one person who "gets me". Thanks for the great blog!
    yratpatrol@aol.com

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  8. The friendship that you two have in awesome. The joking and good-hearted nature with which you both have together is fun-loving and a joy to see. I lost my bestfriend several years ago and it makes me smile when I see the banter between the two of you.

    Happy New Year to you both!!

    Kitana
    kitana_wolff@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. Friends like that are one in a million!
    Happy New Year!
    talia628@yahoo.com

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  10. Everyone should have one friendship like the two of you have.

    My friend and I go out to get drinks when kids go to school just so we have time to decompress. It is amazing how understanding she is, probably because we go through some of the same shit with our husbands and kids.

    -Tiffany, bubbliemom@gmail.com

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  11. Wow what an amazing friendship. I wish we all could have that instant meshing with another person and know they will be a part of your life forever.
    Girls you rock!! I have read all your books and look forward to reading more.
    Happy New Year and may 2012 bring you everything you desire.

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  12. Ohhh, I don't use butter in my Puppy Chow. Just chocolate & PB, but I also throw in pretzels & peanuts so it's like chex mix PC, lol

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  13. I think that is a great friendship, not many of us have that.. ;) you guys rock!

    Lirsha2072atgmaildotcom

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  14. Stacey Jo Siferd1/02/2012

    This has been the best blog I have read in a very long time. REAL. Thanks for sharing Joyee! LOVE it! And I think you're both pretty amazing. I have just recently found Gabrielle....through her books. But I can already say for certain that anyone who knows her, has to be amazing. She autographed a book to me, a complete stranger...with the exact words I have needed to hear my entire life. How did she know? It doesn't matter how. It matters that she said them. Huge hugs for you both for having and maintaining such a wonderful relationship in a world like ours. Prosperity and Happiness for you both :)

    xoxo
    stacey jo

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  15. Anonymous1/02/2012

    That was really funny and cute. I have a friend like Gabrielle. She doesn't seem to mind the things that come out of my mouth. I think everyone should have a friendship like that. I hope the both Joyee and Gabrielle have a wonderful, blessed and productive new year. I know I am one of many who look forward to your many amazing books coming out this year. My email is Drealynn84@hotmail.com

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  16. I love both Joyee and Gabrielle!! And I have a Sister from a different Mother and we're twin to boot! We so get each other no matter what we're saying. And most of the time it makes no sense to anyone else. Having a friend like that is one of those priceless things in this world.

    goaliemom00 (at) cox (dot) net

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  17. We all need that one friend that just gets it and I'm glad that you Gabrielle and Joyee have found yours. I have that kind of friend we don't talk very often but I know if I needed her she would drop everything to come and help me out. Happy New Year!

    my email address is
    teedragon68@gmail.com

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  18. You guys are very lucky to have a friendship like that!

    perpetua2206@yahoo.co.uk

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  19. Anonymous1/02/2012

    Wow that truly is a friend for life. Not many people can find a soul-friendship like that. Always cherish that you two.

    Linda A
    l.abbou@hotmail.com

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  20. The friendship you have is priceless,how wonderful for both of you.

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  21. I have found my own Joyee - her name is Embry Carlysle. She is the one I do all my bitching to as well, we are each others sounding boards. Even if some days I want to shake the shit out of her I still class her as my best friend.

    normanielsen@bigpond.com

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  22. What a wonderful blog! I enjoyed every minute of it....and I have a "How I Love Brie" moment too. I luv her story Lipstick & Handguns and kept forgetting it was/is available in paperback, so I could save up for it. I mentioned on her blog when we are just chattin about nothin as usual *grin* the next thing I know I get an pkg from Gabrielle and it is an autographed paperback copy of Lipstick & Handguns....What a wonderful thing to do for a fan that all you know about is how "sick" they are.....yes, physically & mentally...hahahahaaha I will always luv Gabrielle for the moment in time when everything came together and seemed just perfect for a homebound hillbilly!

    Joyee, you and Gabrielle, are so lucky to have a friendship that is so close and honest!

    Good luck to you both in 2012!

    luv & hugs,
    jo johannasnodgrass(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  23. What a wonderful post! You two sound amazing together and I think all of us are a bit jealous and would love a relationship like this ourselves. My friends are great but time and life changes have pulled us apart.

    I guess I'll just have to live vicariously through you two. Here's to many more years of togetherness!

    joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

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  24. I have a friendship like that, we have been friends for almost 20 years or rather sisters as I tell everyone else. The sister of my heart that I don't have. Even though miles separate us with her currently in Japan we are still close. It is ironic that we met in Japan, on the island of Okiwana both just under two years in the Air Force. But our friendship has stood the test of time even as we moved around the world. The greatest joy she gave me was when my second daughter was born and she surprised me at the hospital. She arrived just a few hours after she was born. As I was stationed in Germany at the time and her in Turkey, she moved heaven and earth with her crew chief friends helping and got a flight in. She only stayed for a day, but that is friendship and love so I totally understand.

    So Happy New Year Gabrielle & Joyee.

    tonya@torchm.com

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  25. I know what it is to have that bff who is totally a great friend that doesn't hold any punches.
    That's the way it's suppose to be. Have a great New Year!

    Teresa K.
    tcwgrlup41(at)yahoo.com

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  26. what an amazing testament to friendship. :)

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  27. Wow, wish I had a friend like that!! Most of my so called friends stopped calling after I hurt my back and was laid up for a long time. Took me awhile but I finally realised that they weren't real friends at all. So cherish what you two have found together, real friends are priceless.

    By the way Joyee totally loved your Grinch Elves series, they were wonderful.

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  28. i have a friend like that and no matter what crazy shit i get myself into she is right beside me having my back we meet one day in middle school and click right away it's been 12 years and i love her like the sister i never had so i understand what joyee is saying gabrielle is to her what my bestfriend is to me =) my email is jcanoto@yahoo.com jessica canoto

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  29. Anonymous1/02/2012

    I wish I had a friend like the one Gabrielle Evans and Joyee Flynn have. So far I haven't been fortunate enough to have one. Hopefully one day I'll be fortunate enough to have such an experience of my own.

    Happy New Year!!

    -H.B
    (humhumbum@yahoo.com)

    ReplyDelete
  30. She offered you her husband? That's real love there. lol

    My best buddy & I are trying to deal with how our relationship will change, when I move 1000 miles away sometime before the end of the 2012. We are already crying about it.

    drainbamaged.gyzmo at gmail.com

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  31. Love wearing T-Shirts, especially those about books. Happy New Year.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I have a friend like that, my bestie. Dee and I have been friends since kindergarten. We lost track of each other for a few years and then picked up right where we left off. Both of us are potty mouths too and give each other a swift kick in the ass when we need it. Another term that my own soul mate, Liam reminded me of lately: mo anam cara. It's Celtic and loosely translated is "my soul mate" or "my soul friend." I think it describes your friendship perfectly!

    Tammy
    dochappycamper(at)gmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  33. It's simply amazing and such a gift to have friends like Gabrielle. My friend Wendy and I have such a friendship. Thanks to her younger sister Esme (we met in ROTC in HS) that took me over her house one day and introduced us. At first Wendy was shy, as was I but suddenly we started talking about A book we both read (Artemis Fowl & Harry Potter) and became the best of friends. xD Ahaha... also All thanks to Yaoi manga. fufu~ >3
    Thanks for sharing what a wonderful friendship you and Gabrielle have. Heh~ <33

    Judi
    arella3173_loveless(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  34. Wow. What a wonderful friendship you have. As you said, not even family is that close.
    Are you sure you're not twins who were seperated at birth and passed through a crack in the fabric of time to explain any age difference?
    Thank you for entering me in your contest.

    orelukjp0 at gmail dot com

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have a Gabrielle of my own :) She's the one who encouraged me to write when no one else believed in me. I love her to bits, and she gets me, just like Gabrielle gets you, Joyee. So congratulations on your great friendship, and do your best to keep this relationship. There's nothing more valuable in life than your friends and loved ones.

    Scarlet Hyacinth, scarlet.hyacinth@gmail.com

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  36. I would love to add that to my growing collection of this series.

    PICK ME LOL!!!

    Chris
    ceagles48218@yahoo.com

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  37. I'm lucky enough to have a friend like that, too (I call her my Homie for Life, "The Homie" for short). Both of us have foul mouths, but I tend to be the voice of reason in our friendship (she would be the one threatening the guy's sac & I'd be the one telling her that it's a week til payday & I can't afford bail $$, which usually calms her down).

    Friends like that are "a pearl beyond price". I wish that everyone could have a friend like that.

    Courtney S
    aunt_cori(at)yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete

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