Okay, so Ms Evans is giving us free rein over her blog today. She’s a brave soul, that one. Anyway, we decided it wouldn’t really be any fun unless we just had a huge party and invited as many people as possible. We’re going to forgo the alcohol, though, because Echo is such a freakin’ slush (slutty lush.) That child cannot hold his liquor.
I should probably start out by introducing myself. I am the wonderful, magnificent, and utterly stunning Keeton Taylor, and I will be your host for this fabulous party.
Echo: And he has an enormous head with that over-inflated ego.
Keeton: Please ignore the little one. He thinks he’s prettier because his hair is longer.
Echo: I am prettier. Just ask anyone.
Keeton: Just because you have seven men, does not make you prettier. It just makes you a slut.
Echo: Jealous much?
In actuality, I’m not jealous at all. I can barely keep up with Logan. Just don’t tell him I said that. He already thinks I like him.
Keeton: Just how is it that you ended up with seven guys? And how the hell do you keep track of all of them? Don’t they just kind of blend together?
Echo: Haha! Well, I don’t know exactly how I ended up with them, but I wouldn’t trade a single one of them for all the gold in the world. If you knew them, you wouldn’t be asking how I keep track of them. They might all be demons, but they’re all so very different.
I can’t really help but shudder at the mention of demons. While I know a great chap by the name of Jory Lahman, who just happens to be a demon, my previous associations with the breed have not been pleasant. Let’s just say that I don’t care to repeat the experience with an Arsidian Demon any time soon.
Keeton: So, where are your mates anyway? I thought we were having a party.
Echo: They’ll be here soon. Unlike you, they like when I’m a slush.
Keeton: Hey, at least I don’t get drunk and dance around in my underwear!
Echo: I was completely sober for that, thank you very much. Besides, didn’t I hear that you answered your door in nothing but a thong and a tiara?
Keeton: I had on socks, too. Besides, that was before I met Logan. I was a bit of an attention whore back then.
Echo: Whore being the key word there.
Gabrielle: Boys, play nice. Don’t make me separate you.
Keeton and Echo: Yes, ma’am.
Keeton: Did you hear that Ms Evans is continuing the Moonlight Breed series? Now who’s jealous?
Echo: Yeah, well, bite me.
Gabrielle: (whispering) Don’t worry Echo. I have that idea we talked about written down. I’ll get to it as soon as I can.
Echo: She likes me better.
Keeton: You just need more attention. You’re like the baby of the family.
Jory: Actually, I think I’m the youngest person at this party. Plus, I outrank you, so shove over.
Remember the demon brat I was talking about? That would be Jory. He thinks he’s hot shit because he’s an elder now. Whoever decided to make a nineteen year old twerp an elder is certifiably insane. What’s he going to do to the bad guys? Make them ice cream?
Keeton: (clears throat) Umm, right, so I’ll take questions from the audience now.
Keeton: Shit! Fine, fine! How about we braid Echo’s hair?
Gabrielle: Keeton James Taylor!
Crap, I think she really means business this time. I hate it when she gets that tone. It usually means that she’s about to…
Logan: Hello, angel.
I knew it! I totally knew she was going to rat me out!
Keeton: Hello, big guy. We were just about to braid the slush’s hair.
Logan: How about you put a sock in it and let Echo take over for a while? I brought you some nail polish.
Oscar: Oooohh! What color? Lemme see!
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Oscar Mayer. Haha! No, I’m joking. His last name is Rhymes, but that’s not nearly as much fun as Mayer. Anyway, he and his friends have had a pretty rough life. Flynn’s brother—you remember Flynn Murphy, right?—well, his brothers found poor Oscar and his friends living in cave in Missouri…Arkansas? Whatever, the point is they’re kind of freaks. I mean that with a lot of love, though.
See, me and Braxton, along with a little help from Jackson, had to convince our big, stubborn mates to move to Wyoming to help take care of these guys. Haven is a great place, but for these white-pelted shifters, it can still be dangerous.
But, I digress. Oscar loves colors. The more the better. And if you think this guy is nuts, wait until you get a load of his mate, Demetrius. Now, that guy is scary! I don’t know all the details, but the dude can’t fully shift back to human. Eeek! He loves Oscar to bits, though, so I guess that’s the important thing. But you can find out more in the next Moonlight Breed book, Make it Shine.
Echo: So, Oscar, you’re a shifter? What exactly do you shift into?
Oscar: Do I have to answer, Ms Evans?
Gabrielle: No, sugar, you don’t have to answer. I bet people would be interested, though.
Oscar: (blushes but nods) I’m a porcupine-shifter.
Jory, Keeton, and Echo: Awwwww!
Echo: Can you show us? I bet you’re adorable.
Oscar: Ummm, maybe later?
Hex: I heard there was a party!
At this point, the seven biggest, most terrifying men I’ve ever seen walk into the room. I’m in Logan’s lap faster than you can blink, because damn! Those guys are fucking scary. It’s like someone supersized them at the drive-thru. Plus, they’re demons. And they have some freaky ass eyes. Who the hell has red eyes?
Although, the one with the silver hair is kind of cute.
Echo: Don’t even think about it Slutarella.
Now Echo has the goo-goo eyes while he’s passed around like a deli sandwich between all seven guys. I still just don’t get it, but if it works for them, who am I to judge?
Jory: They’re demons?
I know what he’s thinking, but I don’t comment. When I look at Hex and the other warriors, they’re what I picture a demon to be. Big and totally bad ass. Jory, on the other hand, is a shrimp. Again, I mean that with love, but the guy is smaller than me. Not exactly intimidating.
Stavion: Don’t let it get to you, baby. You outrank them, remember?
Jory gets this shit-eating grin on his face, because of course, Stavion’s right. That fucker is always right. I kind of hate that, but since he’s a leader, I guess it wouldn’t make sense if he had his head up his ass and didn’t know what he was doing. Still, if he tells me one more time that we can’t build an indoor pool at Haven, I’m going to smack him in the face with my dick.
Jade: I’m feeling totally out of place here. Am I the only person that can’t do something wicked cool like turn into an animal or kill shit with my mind?
I’m looking around the room, trying to figure out who can kill stuff with their mind. While that’s a neat trick, I’m thinking I might want to avoid that person. Or suck up to them. Whatever keeps me from getting my head blown up like in that movie Scanners.
And sweet baby Jesus, who the hell is that? I take back what I said about the demons. This new dude totally just climbed down the beanstalk.
Jade: This is Archias. He’s mine.
Archias: Are these friends of yours, draga?
Jade: Uh, kind of. Maybe we should just be going.
I don’t know the guy that well, but hell, I don’t want him feeling like he has the plague.
Keeton: Hey, there’s a pool table in the back corner. Take your bodyguard here, and go make someone let you play.
Damn, hosting this party is a lot of work. Why did I think this was a good idea? Whatever, maybe if I keep screwing it up enough, Ms Evans will take over and let me go play with my new nail polish. Just as soon as I steal it back from Oscar.
Keeton: Where’s Braxton? Him and Xander were supposed to be here forever ago.
Logan: I don’t think they’re going to make it. Braxton is a little…tied up at the moment.
Okay, no, no, no! Can’t those two keep their hands off each other for five freakin’ minutes? I mean, really?! I totally need a drink.
Raven: Stop! Don’t drink that!
I stop with my water glass halfway to my lips and look at the vampire Enforcer like he’s lost his mind, because it’s obvious that he has.
Raven: I can’t find Nuri.
Ah, now I get it. Raven’s mate is a little ball of energy named Nuri. He also happens to be a water nymph. I mean, the dude literally changes into water. Glancing down at my glass, I place it gently on the table. I’m not sure if Nuri can fit into a water glass, but I’d rather not chance it. Gross.
Keeton: Have you checked the toilet?
I’m not really sure why the big oaf is glaring at me. It seems like a perfectly logical question to me. Actually, I know for a fact that Nuri is in the back corner playing pool with Jade. It’s extremely entertaining to watch Raven running around like an idiot, though. Serves him right after all the shit he gave the rest of us about being mated.
Keeton: Oops, I think I just heard the toilet flush. You better hurry.
A shiver races up my spine because I know that tone. I’m pretty sure I’m about to be punished, and I can’t wait for it.
Gabrielle: You about ready to wrap it up?
I am, but I don’t want to be rude. There are a lot of people who still haven’t made it yet. I know Ms. Evans is counting on me, but have you seen my mate? Damn, that man could make a blind man pant at thirty paces.
Gabrielle: It’s fine. Go have fun. We can always do this again sometime. I still have another blog to do on the 31st. Though, maybe I should ask Braxton to host that one.
To be fair, Braxton is a lot more responsible. If she wants to make sure it’s done right, she should probably have one of the alphas do it. They’re used to being in charge. Seriously, this shit is for the birds. No offense to any birdie-shifters out there.
Gabrielle: We need to decide what prize we’re going to give away, though.
Echo: I think it should be a big one.
Keeton: I agree. Something almost as awesome as I am.
Logan: You’re so modest, angel. I don’t know where you get this lack of self-confidence.
That’s my Logan, always the jokester. I realize this is a pretty big decision, and I really don’t want to get it wrong. I think it’s time to call in reinforcements. Gathering up Jory, Echo, and Oscar, we huddle in the corner, whispering and giggling. I can see Ms Evans glaring at us from across the room. I don’t think it’s my imagination that she’s looking a little worried as well. Ha!
Keeton: Okay, we’ve decided!
Gabrielle: So, what’s it going to be?
Echo: All nine Fatefully Yours books in print.
Jory: Plus twenty-five dollars in StandBucks.
Oscar: And a twenty-five dollar gift certificate to Sephora. They have the best nail polish.
Keeton: And your next three releases in ebook.
Okay, so that didn’t go exactly as I planned. Then again, that’s what I get for putting Keeton in charge. Still, he’s calling the shots today, and you heard the guy.
One very lucky winner will win:
All 9 Fatefully Yours books in print
A $25 gift certificate to BookStrand
A $25 gift certificate to Sephora.
My next 3 upcoming releases in ebook:
Strip: Tease and Search [Lawful Disorder 2]
Invincible [Haven 5]
Flawless [Haven 6]
So, comment below and don’t forget your contact info!
Contest ends January 22nd at midnight EST.